Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
