He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
