so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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