I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
