Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
