he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So many bounce houses so little time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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