Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
