what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
