1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
