you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
