Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
did you just send me my own nude
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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