Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
