Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was not drunk enough for that final.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
