He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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