apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I need water and some morals
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
