O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Its about making memories worth repressing
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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