That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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