I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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