I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
