Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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