is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
