Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
