No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
