New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
