I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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