she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
birth control should be required to get into college
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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