I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
