i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
