the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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