respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
