His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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