Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
