Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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