Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
