and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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