Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
