I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
