so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
