He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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