i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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