Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
