New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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