TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
