i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
