I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
