Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
