also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
