I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Randomize
