I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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