Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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