Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
