U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
pop tarts are not kleenex
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
