Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
